Michael O’Leary needs help. A small ad in Friday’s newspapers reveals that his current assistant, Niall O’Connor, is moving on. It does not explain why Niall is off to quieter pastures. Rumours that he is seeking the advice of lawyers who specialised in compensation for army deafness are being denied. Michael wants an accountant for this “exceptional opportunity.”
Someone just like Michael, himself an unlikely product of the staid KPMG accountancy stable. A clone. A mini-me.
The candidate will be responsible for “special projects”. Unspecified.
Could these include driving Michael’s taxi to work from Mullingar every day? Will the accountant have to keep an eye on the meter?
The applicant will obviously need to be a good listener. He must have a PhD in colourful language. He (or maybe she) will receive no pay, just share options.
He (or maybe she) will have to advise on balloons and cartoons. The successful candidate must be able to lampoon the good and the great in full page newspaper advertisements.
He (or maybe she) will also be able to spot a cabinet minister in a bath.
The accountant will need no knowledge of accountancy.
Ryanair is, in theory, an equal opportunities employer.